


NYC

by dontfeedthewolfy



Series: Derek Hale Character Study [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Beta Derek, Character Study, Damaged Derek, Derek Character Study, Derek Hale Character Study, Derek Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Derek's Past Consent Issues with Kate, Emotional Hurt, Gen, New York City, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Post Hale Fire, Pre-Canon, Sad Derek, Siblings, derek in new york, laura and derek in nyc, two wolf pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4881682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontfeedthewolfy/pseuds/dontfeedthewolfy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Derek Hale character study. Taking a look at the time in New York after the fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	NYC

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello there! I’m Isaac. You are about to read one of the fan based works in my collection. I am a LGBTQA+ writer. Generally I choose to ignore canon and acquire representation. I try to do this in the most natural means possible. Perhaps this isn’t as prevalent in the fanfic community but queer representation is minimal. So as a member of this community and an aspiring novelist I want to write from these character perspectives, and give my readers the chance to see aspects of them selves in there favorite fandoms (and eventually within my own original worlds), or at least give a different voice than what is usually heard. I like the idea of telling stories about queer characters in which their gender identity or sexuality is not the driving force of the story. They are characters that happen to be queer not characters that their plot centers around them being queer.
> 
> As always I enjoy your feed back greatly and thank you for reading the things that seem to keep pouring out of my head. If you enjoy this you can follow me on tumblr ( www.queerrainbowwarrior.tumblr.com ) and twitter( @Qrainbowwarrior ) for updates regarding up coming works, both fanfic and original (as well as my ongoing personal dribble).
> 
> This is a series of character studies that will be told in second person. While I will never commit to being exclusively canon these are my interpretations of easily deducted canon events, ie things that did happen or with in the canon context could have happened example the events of the Hale fire per say. That being said, I am a Sterek shipper and these are being told from the perspective of internalized mutual crushing (and if you must ask why….. Because fuck you! That’s why jk but seriously they are my babies and I honestly give zero fucks about keeping this non bias). Not to say I’m putting Sterek in every memory but the series of studies will not be void of Sterek (haha void…. Too soon?)

The years that follow you grow up too fast. You live in a ruddy little apartment with your sister and possibly more than a few rats. You can smell them some days stronger than others, but at the very least they aren’t brave enough to let you spot them. It’s crowded and small. It’s all about keep a low profile. Sure your family has let you more than enough money to survive. However living the way that you did before feels wrong and choosing to live meagerly will insure you don’t draw anymore unwanted attention. 

Two wolves is too small of a pack to protect it’s self. After all you had thought you were safe in Beacon Hills, with a large well established family pack and you were wrong. 

You have Laura tho, family no matter what. Then that is what you really long for; family, love, belonging -everything that was taken from you-. 

Mostly you just try to ignore it,or rather to try to ignore what your life should be.The night that should have been prom, is spent taking down a rouge omega with information about hunters that frequent the local bars. It turned out to be a wild goose chase that Laura must have sent you on in some effort to protect you from yourself. 

Instead you try to exist as little as you can, become smaller every day and value humans even less than you did before. Your life is bad takeout and sweaty nightclubs, but you embrace the wolf more than you ever have in your life. You learn to trust the instincts of the animal more so than the human, and as such you lose pieces of humanity more so each day.

You weren’t always like this. At least that’s what you like to tell yourself at night, curled under the blankets hoping tomorrow finds you strong on the inside as well. That maybe just maybe the guilt will have waned just a little. At one point, you were a normal little boy, well at least as normal as the circumstances allowed. You were born into one of Beacon Hills most prestigious packs, and that bloodline was so strong it made you her target. 

You were manipulated, so you became the manipulator. You were destined to die, so you found a way to save yourself. In the end, everything you had ever known was still taken from you, but you survived. You are here and that’s all that matters. Now no life comes before your own. Self preservation at all costs. Still guilty rifles you like an unending plague. They are dead, and it’s your fault. You gave into the monster, the real monster no transformation needed. The bite is a gift, hunters are a curse. Your baby sister, you father, your mother and innocent after innocent life they are all gone… you… you are to blame. The weight of it feels like it might crush you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Thanks for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it. I know at the very start of this all I introduced myself but I failed to mention that I am a gay trans man. That is a big reason why I feel so compelled to share queer stories with you all. I would like to take a moment to ask for your help. As of now, I am working towards my top surgury. Ig you feel you would like to donate the link is http://www.gofundme.com/d3b6p4
> 
> Please don't feel like you have to. If you would like to help in another way spread the word and my stories (or even just reach out to me on one of my social media links found and that beginning of the fic) and hey, thanks!


End file.
